


Dinner Dates and Trophy Men

by CynicallyKryptid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cussing, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, M/M, Multi, Post-Sburb (Homestuck), Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Quadrant Vacillation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 07:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21453943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicallyKryptid/pseuds/CynicallyKryptid
Summary: Dirk tries to convince himself he's happy with his boyfriend who dresses him up and drags him around to dates until an old friend who he barely knows tells him he looks like a fucking Lap Dog. But John doesn't know anything, Jake loves Dirk! Right? He does....No matter how many times Dirk makes Jake Angry, at least he stays.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram/Dave Strider, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45





	Dinner Dates and Trophy Men

**Author's Note:**

> This IS a DirkJohn fic I promise. I'm so proud of this beech and there is a Sequel in the works so watch out for that babey

Trembling lips, shaking hands, Tears streaming down flushed cheeks. Left exposed with only his shades to hide him, Dirk stood there trying to hide the fact that he was crying as Jake finished yelling at him. It was another argument, it was Dirk's fault... He shouldn't have opened his mouth, Dirk had gotten into an argument with Dave while at Rose's house. They ended up getting into a Fight, and Jake dragged him home looking mad. He started yelling as soon as they were in the house, and Dirk knew it was his fault for starting crap with Dave.

"I can't believe you would embarrass us infront of all of our Friends like that! You need to apologize to your Brother, gosh golly you absolute thorn in my side why on earth would you do that!"  
"I-Im So-"  
"No! Stop, I'm still talking to you!"

Dirk flinched and Jake marched over and grabbed Dirk's shades off his face and he tried to grab them back surprised but Jake glared at him and Dirk stopped, staring up at Jake as his eyes filled with more tears.  
No. Stop, Strider's. Dont. Cry.  
Jake set them aside,  
"Look me in the eyes when I talk to you, You're so Rude Dirk. I cannot believe this, utterly disgraceful. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Dirk looked at Jake, eyes flickering across those pretty forest green... none of the love he needed was there...  
"Well?" Jake said annoyed,  
"I'm sorry...I-I'll, Apologize to Dave...I promise.."  
"And Rose and Kanaya as well, you caused such a Stir at their house I am so disapointed."

Dirk spoke up in an attempt to defend himself,  
"It wasn't just me! Dave was being Rude too, I-"  
"Are you really trying to blame him for this? Why don't you just admit you're a fuck up Dirk! Jesus, You're always shut up in the house and the one time I take you out to see our friends and you make a scene. You're such a disapointment, I'm so sick of it!"

Dirk felt his heart shattering. No....No no no, he can't lose Jake. He has, No one. Without Jake, who will...Who will hold him, and shush him after nightmares, oh god.

"I swear Dirk, if you don't start fixing up your act? I'm done. I'll walk out that door."  
Dirk rushed forward, crying now. He hugged Jake,  
"No! I'll be better, I promise Jake I promise! I'll, I'll fix this please don't leave me. Please, Please don't leave me. I love you, I love you so much!"  
Jake rolled his eyes out of Dirk's line of sight before he reached down and grabbed Dirk's chin, tilting him up and petting his hair. He stared into those Orange eyes. Freaky, and Odd. A rarity, a Treasure. The 'perfect' boyfriend. Well, Not yet.

"Promise Dirky? You'll try harder for me?"  
Dirk sniffled and nodded, trying to hold back every emotion as he tightened his fists at his side's to not seem too clingy.  
"Yes, I'll try harder...Im sorry Jake, I know I'm not Perfect, I...I'm sorry."  
"Good." Was Jake's response, he kissed Dirk's forehead and Dirk continued to cry and shake. Jake frowned, cupping Dirk's cheek.  
"Hey, shhh. Stop that, why are you crying?"

Dirk didn't respond, what could he say? He knew Jake wasn't leaving, but he couldn't stop trembling, the tears still coming. And it just made Jake mad again,  
"What could it possibly be this time Dirk? I mean Honestly!"  
"I don't know, I'm sorry," he wiped his face and quickly forced it all down. No more tears, his hands still a bit shaky.  
"I'm sorry Jake, I'll stop, thank you please don't leave..."  
Jake nodded, satisfied with the lack of tears.  
He then smiled,  
"Lets watch a movie together then, shall we?"

And so they did. They cuddled up on the couch and acted as if they were a happy couple.  
I mean, they Are! Dirk, loves Jake. He does.  
And Dirk is Jake's, well. He's Jake's. His perfect Boyfriend. Odd little Treasure.

For a while, it was like that. Then acting as if nothing was wrong. Dirk starting going out with Jake more, and any event Jake was at you could see him. Standing at Dirks side, a small smile on his face and he looked happy enough. He looked small. Fragile, delicate. As if he didn't fight for his whole life. It's like those scars and muscles he packed under those neat clothes obviously picked by Jake weren't even there. He was nothing but a Trophy clinging onto Jake's arm.

And a particular Egbert was starting to take notice. I mean it was obvious, Dave noticed it too. As Did Rose, in fact most of the kids did.  
Roxy confronted Dirk first, and gosh that was a mess. Dirk told Roxy over and over he was fine before he snapped at her and told her to leave him the fuck alone.

God did Dirk ever get an ear full after that. Not just Jake but Jane as well. He felt like shit about it, he didn't mean to snap at her but he didn't understand why she kept bugging him.  
Jake yelled at him that night, threatening to leave again and Dirk was absolutely pathetic. He had been sobbing, hiding in the corner as his boyfriend yelled but the second the risk of being alone closed in Dirk was quick to grovel at the man's feet. And Jake eventually sighed and leaned down, cupping Dirks cheek. Dirk swore to be better, promised never to step out of line. And he was rewarded with a Kiss, and told firmly to stop crying. So he did, he stopped immidiately. He shut it all down and leaned into Jake's hand and asked softly if they could go to bed together, wanting to be held in Jake's arms.

Tonight though, was the start of Change.  
Jake has once again dragged Dirk out to one of the numerous parties their friends like to host, be it Eridan, Dave, Rose and Kanaya, or just a mortal friend Jake has made on Earth C.

Today was Dave, at a very fancy Venue. Classic for the blonde who loves dressing to the 9's. Jake had Dirk dressed nicely, a simple suit without a tie, hair brushed back. He had on his shades, but he had to fight for that. Begged Jake, told him he would do anything Jake wanted if he could wear them. He couldn't bare the thought of being vulnerable at a party without his shades...they were his protection...  
So now here he is, hugging Jake's arm as he spoke to people, a simple smile on his face as he nodded and spoke softly. Always polite, only when spoken too. He blended into the background, it was as if he was invisible.

Dirk has Jake, but he has never in his life felt more alone.

As the night played out, Jake eventually pulled away from Dirk and smiled sweetly at him,  
"Why don't you go get us a Drink sweetie?"  
Dirk nodded obediently, smiling at Jake and his pet name before he walked off to the bar. Once he was there he sat down beside someone he didn't know and put his head down. He's so miserable, and he doesn't wanna accept it.  
"Dirk?"  
Said man looked up curiously at the sound of his voice. The person beside him was none other than John Egbert, in a black dress shirt and navy blue formal pants. He clearly didn't look like he really wanted to be there and Dirk would relate. But he didn't want Jake to yell at him.  
"Oh, Hey...Uh, whatcha doin here?"

John flashed that award winning smile but Dirk could see it, it didn't reach his eyes.  
"What, and miss my best friends 50th fuckin party this week?" He said sarcastically. Oh. Dirk sometimes forgets that John is, a total douche. An attractive and smart and loyal, total Douche Bag. John shrugged, downing whatever was in his glass and rolled his eyes.  
"I came for Dave, wasn't gonna bail on the dude. I promised to come, here I am." He eyed Dirk,  
"And what about you?"  
Dirk shrugged,  
"I came here with Jake, actually I came to get us drinks so I should go now,"  
Dirk got some champagne glasses and heard John scoff a bit.  
"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself too much, you okay?" John asked with a raised eyebrow. God that struck a nerve. John looks worse than Dirk does, and far more unhappy (false, John is better at hiding it) so he had no room to talk! Dirk's temper got the better of him,  
"Oh shut up, you don't even wanna be here. I'm fine! If you'll excuse me I have to get back to Jake,"  
John just looked forward as he ordered another glass of scotch,  
"Oh of course, sorry forgot he likes to keep his Pets on Short leashes."  
John's voice was cool and calm, only his eyes moving to watch Dirk. They were like chiped Ice, watching Dirk as he flared up. But he also watched at how quickly that was exstinguished. As soon as Jake was in sight Dirk completely stopped. John could almost see every cog in that brilliant blonde head of Dirk's just caught, and stopped. As if Tar was poured on them, Dirk just looked down as Jake came over.  
"Ah! John, how nice it is to see you!" His tan hand slid around Dirks waist, fixing his dark green dress shirt as he pulled his boyfriend in closer and took one of the glasses from Dirk's scarred fingers.  
"What were you two Chatting about?" Jake asked with a smile and John looked away finishing his glass. He put money down for the alcohol and stood up,  
"Dogs. Speaking of, I've got better people to see. Like Jade. Bye," he said as he pushed past Jake. He wasn't in the mood to entertain some asshole and his Trophy Boyfriend.  
Dirk is a fucking Lap dog to that man and it just annoys John. He doesn't know what goes on behind closed doors so he's pretty quick to judge. Dirk is just a yappy Pomeranian and Jake seems to be the only one capable of shutting Dirk up.

If only he knew...

John left and went to find his ecto-cousin, that's what John calls it anyway. And by that rule he's also technically related to Jake. And Jane. He's Got Cousins now cool, but he doesn't care much. He isn't close to Jake or Jane, and he isn't very trusting anymore. He trusts very few, and Jake certainly isn't on that list of People he trusts.

Jake is now very upset. Not, sad or outwardly mad. But Dirk can see it. The frown on his lips, as he sips his champagne.  
God what is Dirk even doing? He hates Champagne. He'd much prefer something sweet. Hell, he would settle for some Vodka and Orange Fanta! But here he is, with Jake's arm around his waist sipping Champagne as he gauges how mad his boyfriend is. Just the usual yelling, or grabbing Dirks wrist a little too hard mad? As long as it wasn't 'I'm breaking up with you' mad than Dirk didn't care.  
Soon Jake was walking towards the bathrooms and bringing Dirk with him, he set aside his empty glass and Dirk did the same with his half full glass.  
Once inside the bathroom Jake shut and locked the door, glaring at Dirk,  
"What the fuck did you say to John?"  
"Wh-What? Nothing honey, I just-"  
"Don't 'honey' me Dirk! He looked upset, and not just at you but at me. What are you telling people huh? Did you fucking snap at him like you did Roxy?"  
Dirk went silent and Jake groaned,  
"I knew it. You can't do anything right! This is why you're gonna end up all alone Dirk!"  
Dirk began to cry and Jake just watched.  
"Fucking Pathetic, good golly," he rubbed his temples.  
"Clean up and think about what you've done. I'm gonna go talk to Jane, find me when you're done being an Utter baby," and with that Jake left. Dirk turned to the mirror, gripping the sink tight. His shoulders shook, and the tears started to come and Dirk couldn't handle it. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, gripped his hair and started to pull. He shook his head, his hands, hit himself on the head before he looked up and shut it all off. Turn it off, push it down, smile and keep going. So Jake won't leave you. He's the only one who won't leave you, don't fuck this up like you fuck up everything else in your life Dirk.

He washed his hands, wiped off his face and fixed his hair before going back out to find Jake. On the way he found Jade and John chatting together in the hallway, John had another glass in his hand and Dirk looked up as he saw them. Jade had yet to notice him as she twirled back and forth in her long flowy green dress. John caught sight of him with ease though. He couldn't miss those horrid dorky shades.  
Dirk soon approached, and offered a sweet smile to Jade,  
"I like your Dress, very sparkly."  
Jade grinned,  
"Oh thank you Dirk! I was just telling John the same thing!" She tilted her head, Dirk was amazed at how sweet and welcoming she was. Her smile was warm and happy, a stark contrast from the cold uncaring look he received from John.  
"Yeah...Uhm, okay, I should get going but uh. Hey John? Sorry I snapped at you earlier, I promise I'll work harder not to do that,"  
That was such a practiced Phrase. It was like it was all he knew how to say anymore, the apology grained into his head.  
John closed his eyes and shrugged, softening up a little. He's way too drunk to hold a grudge, fuck it.  
"No worries man, I have no beef with you."  
Dirk nodded and Jade seemed curious about this, one of her ears flicking at the top of her head and Dirk glanced at them.  
"Well, I'll be on my way. It was nice talking to you Jade, Bye John."  
John gave a short wave and Jade said her loud cheerful goodbye and Dirk walked off. He found Jake sitting in a big red chair, it seemed soft. And Jake seemed, very drunk. Not in behaviour but in the slur of his words and the flush on his tanned and freckled cheeks. He caught sight of Dirk and grinned, patting his lap,  
"Ah babe! C'mere, come meet my new friend here,"  
Dirk did as he was told, awkwardly sitting on Jake's lap obediantly with his hands in his lap as he spoke softly to this person he doesn't know.  
"Hello..." He said softly, and Jake grabbed his hip. Dirk was pulled in closer and his hip was squeezed rather hard.  
"Dirk can be shy sometimes, I apologize. Speak up babe,"  
Dirk nodded and smiled,  
"H-Hello, sorry I'm not great with new people! It's very nice to meet you,"

Dirk hated this. But he played his part well. Everytime Dirk did something wrong, Jake was there to correct it. Squeezing his hip if he said the wrong thing, joking about Dirk and his scattered brain as the man stumbled over his words to correct himself.

Scatter Brain.  
This man has built intelligent life from scratch by himself at the age of 16, created some of the smartest and efficient robots on either goddamn planet, he is a Prince of Fucking Heart and he...  
And he has no one but Jake. And his own broken Heart...

That night ended as all did. He went home with Jake and took a shower to get a break. Once he was in the bathroom, free of clothes he saw them. The bruises on his hip from Jake's fingertips. It nearly broke him. To see that, so starkly different from the past marks Jake had left. These weren't love bites scattered on a pale collarbone. These weren't dark claiming hickeys, left out of love on Dirk's chest or neck. These were a reminder, that Dirk is a fuck up. And without Jake he would always forever be a Fuck up. He's just Jake's fucking problem...  
His shower was 6 hours long that night. He didn't even bother to make it warm in the Beggining, and Jake complained when Dirk got in bed.  
Dirk took too long, he was too cold, his lips were practically turning blue, he better not ever do that again.  
Dirk crawled into bed and nodded,  
"I'm sorry...It won't happen again...I love you."  
An annoyed grumble is all he received in response.

The bruises hadn't even yet healed when Jake told Dirk of another Party, Dave was hosting another one. An excuse to dress fancy and get drunk. Dave is probably on drugs too if we're being honest, considering he's following in Dirk's older Brother's footsteps. Once Dave found out he could get famous if he tried, he tried. And succeeded. After the Game Dave has had it good.  
And Dirk has had Jake. Dirk wore a different outfit tonight, as per Jake's request. It was a Gift from Kanaya, it looked nice. It was a white and Orange suit, with a deep green flower tucked into the pocket. Dirk brushed his hair and Jake came in in a dress shirt tucked into some black pants, sleeves rolled up and a black vest over top.  
"Are you finally gonna get rid of those Shades before we go or are you gonna fight me every step of the way?"  
"J-Jake...honey I'm sorry but I just," Dirk didn't know how to word this, until he felt the ache in his bruises and got an idea.  
"I just wouldn't want anyone but you seeing my eyes, I never take them off for a reason."

Jake seemed surprised by that. But he smiled and walked forward,  
"Aren't you just the sweetest~" he said as he cupped Dirk's cheek and kissed him. It was slow, loving. Dirk felt his face heat up as he melted into it. This would be a good night. He wrapped his arms around Jake and kissed him back, passionate and in need of the love.  
This would be a fucking incredible night.

God was Dirk fucking wrong.  
Only thirty minutes into the party he's gotten separated with Jake. This isn't the same venue as before and Dirk is about to have a panic attack trying to find his lover. Oh God, the massive expanse of people was too much, it was all too much.  
Why is it so loud? People must be looking at him, talking about him, fuck.  
The tears in his eyes were welling and he saw a break in the crowd.  
A balcony!  
Dirk bolted for it, straight to the glass door and out into the cold night air.  
He caught more than one pair of eyes but no one seemed to care much on the surface.  
Dirk leaned against the wall beside the door and slid down to sit and hug his knees, unable to breathe.  
He heard the door open beside him and it only got worse as he started to hyperventilate and he tried to curl up and hide.  
"Oh, shit," He heard the person say and quickly he could feel someone infront of him. He could feel their heartbeat, hear every bump louder than the persons voice.  
"Dirk, hey buddy I need you to look at me okay?"  
Dirk looked up, just now realizing he was crying as someone gently grabbed his chin and parted his lips so he couldn't keep breathing the way he was.  
It hit Dirk colder than the newly found air in his lungs as he looked into crystalline blue eyes behind squared prescription glasses.  
It was John.  
And he was using his control over air to gently ease Dirk's lungs back into a clam and steady pace.  
Soon his hand was moved and Dirk could feel the warmth linger, his bottom lip tingling at the missing sensation of John's thumb.  
"Wh-Why are you here?"  
Dirk asked, voice unsteady.  
John shrugged,  
"Told ya last time, would never bail on my best friend. Now, I hope you don't try and fuckin bite me for askin this again but," John's voice softened as he sat on his legs infront of Dirk.  
"Are you okay?"

Dirk stared and started to Cry, John cursed. That wasn't the plan! He wanted to make Dirk BETTER not Worse!  
Dirk started to rub his eyes furiously,  
"Y-Yeah John I'm okay, Thank you..."  
"Huh?" John was pretty surprised at that. He didn't see why Dirk would thank him and he was crying.  
"I-I...There were too many people in there, and I got separated from Jake I just didn't know what to do...But, you helped me even after I was so mean to you the other day...Thank you."  
John blinked and then laughed, falling back to sit on his ass.  
"You kiddin? No problem man I wasn't gonna just leave you out here. Anxiety sucks ass, I get it."  
Dirk hugged his knees and put his chin on it as John propped himself up with his hands behind him.  
"You, do?"  
"Psht, yeah man. Rose says I'm like, the worst over thinker she knows. Where as Dave is the total opposite, I doubt that dude even has a brain~" John teased his best friend and Dirk felt a bit better already.  
"Also, I was drinking a lot yesterday. So, drinking plus little sleep equals angry John, he's no fun. But I'm sober for now and I slept at Rose's place last night so you're in luck dude." Dirk received a thumbs up and the blonde nodded.  
"I...I should find Jake, I wouldn't want him to worry..."  
Or yell at me.  
John nodded and watched as Dirk stood up. He just crossed his legs and floated on the wind, it whipped his black hair all over the place and John noticed the flower in Dirk's pocket.  
It was all crumpled up and broken. John snatched it up and Dirk looked surprised,  
"Hey wait,"  
John smiled and tossed it,  
"Nah man, that one wasn't working." He plucked off a pretty looking deep blue flower with yellow in the center from a flower pot near by and tucked it into Dirk's pocket,  
"There, a much better fit!"  
Dirk looked up and nodded,  
"Uhm...Thanks again,"  
John nodded and got back onto his feet.  
"No problem. Be safe Dirk, I'll be out here."  
Dirk nodded and watched as John walked to the other side of the balcony and leaned on it. He hesitated, before finally walking back inside to find Jake.

Once he did, he didn't get a lecture like he was expecting. Jake didn't even notice the change in flower in his pocket. Dirk supposed he was relieved as he took his place back at Jake's side.

That night ran smoothly again, and eventually Dirk got...Bored. Wow. He's never been bored at one of these but, he certainly is now. He kissed Jake's cheek,  
"I'm gonna go get a Drink Honey, I'll be back."  
Jake nodded and smiled at his boyfriend. That's what Dirk loved, Jake's smile. It was always amazing to have it directed at Dirk.  
He then walked off, curious if Dave chose another place with a bar. He wandered around, looking at things as he saw people pass. People and Trolls, familiar faces and new ones. Eventually he stumbled upon John again, this time he was with Dave. Dave was in a headlock and John was messing up his hair with a grin,  
"Thought you could just ditch me for your boyfriend didja? Hell no Man, this is a Bromance, Bro's for life!"  
The sight actually brought a smile to Dirks face as Dave laughed and struggled,  
"Dude who keeps serving you Booze, I'm gonna fuckin fire someone,"  
"Bold of you to assume I didn't bring some myself!"

"Uh, You havin fun here Boys?" Dirk interrupted and Dave finally broke away leaving John laughing.  
"Hey Dirk, yes we certainly are,"  
He slung an arm over Dave's shoulders and Dave rolled his eyes dramatically and even Dirk could tell he did it.  
"John here has managed to get his hands on some alcohol. Acting like a total dork as he does." Dave pulled away as Dirk walked closer and John looked a lot happier tonight.  
"Is that so?" He chuckled a bit, "well where can i get some cause man am I bored off my ass."  
Dave scoffed a bit playfully,  
"Shit, you finally done playin kiss ass with that Man a yours?"  
Dirk frowned a bit, and Dave realized he shouldn't of said that. The atmosphere got tense,  
"Dirk, Catch," Dirk looked up and was surprised as a large blue flask made it's way into his hands.  
"Oh, cool thanks." John moved closer as Dirk took a sip of the flask,  
"Wanna play a Prank on someone?" He asked softly with a comforting smile as Dave slipped away.

"Uhm...Sure, why the fuck not."  
So John and Dirk went off together into the crowd as John explained the plan. Bucket, water, door. His classic.  
Dirk voiced his concern about all the trolls in the room cause. Buckets.  
But John just shrugged him off and soon the plan was in action. Once everything was set up, Dirk and John waited. And the poor Female Troll fell for it!  
John and Dirk grinned and high fived but when the woman caught sight of them she looked flustered and utterly indignant, holy shit they are soooo dead!  
John grabbed Dirk's hand with a Grin,  
"Dude, RUN!"  
And he did. He ran, as fast as his legs would take him as John lead the way. Dirk could hear two heartbeats pounding in his ears, John looked thrilled. And it extended to Dirk as the man grinned and they ran all over the building together. Eventually the chase was over, and the two were sitting outside together just. Sitting. And breathing. And enjoying each other's company.  
"This was a lot of fun, Thanks Dirk."  
"Yeah, man I had a ton of fun with you too," Dirk leaned back and sighed.

"Why were we never friends?" John asked as he leaned back as well.  
"Because, I don't usually get out of the house."  
John tilted his head,  
"Dirk I've seen you at every party I've been to for weeks now,"  
"Yeah, and you've seen me with Jake everytime haven't you." Dirk said simply.  
John sighed, yeah. He had.  
"Why?" He asked softly, Dirk looked confused,  
"What do you mean why? He's my broyfriend,"  
"He treats you like a Show Dog, Dirk."

Dirk looked down,  
"John, stop."  
"You know I'm right, he's such an-"  
"JOHN!" Dirk snapped again, and John's eyes widened. He frowned,  
"Dirk,"  
"Don't!" He stood up,  
"Look, I had fun with you tonight okay but this is done. I'm not gonna listen to this. I'll, I'll see you later."  
Dirk hurried back inside and bumped into Jake as John stayed back unable to protest.

Jake frowned, Dirk was reprimanded, apologized, and they went home, leaving John to watch their backs as the walked away. Dirk turned back to watch John's face as he left. He saw the frown set upon it.

It was late, Jake was snoring softly behind him as he twirled the flower between his fingers by the stem.  
A frown looks so, bad on John's face. He'll have to apologize next party they see each other. Dirk will make sure Jake and Him go to the next party they can in order to look for John. He didn't have any of the man's contacts yet.  
This got Dirk thinking of the old Days, and Pesterchum. Hah, oh god did he remember pesterchum. Staying up late, talking to Roxy. Talking to Jake. The hours and hours he would spend talking to Jake, a smile on his face. Those were the days, when love was new. It...didn't work out, but at least they got together after the Game! And now...Here they are.  
Dirk was, relatively happy then. Was he happy now?

He knew the answer to that, but refused to answer it now. He laid down and gently set the flower aside before cuddling up to his boyfriend and going to bed.

Jake was rather surprised, but very happy when Dirk suggested going to the much smaller Party Rose and Kanaya were having. He praised Dirk for finally putting himself out there and being more, normal. Dirk wasn't as, happy as he thought he would be with his boyfriends kind words.  
It was a smaller get together, only the original 20 players were invited. Not everyone actually showed up but, Dirk held out hope John would. Or at Least Dave, they had gotten along better since their last falling out though things were still tense. It's hard to be Friends when each boy is a memory of their older brothers just...Not as Good. Or too different. I mean Dave still often flinches if Dirk moves too quickly without warning.

Because it was Rose and Kanaya Dirk opted to dress less formal than Jake usually had him dress. Taking it upon himself to get dressed as he wasn't a child and didn't need Jake to pick his clothes for him.  
His mind wandered back to Pesterchum as he changed into some black jeans and the orange dress shirt from a while ago. He remembered his own Chum Handle, as well as Jake and Jane's, Roxy's, and Dave's. He wondered curiously what John's was. I mean, what does a Kid like John use for a chum handle? The John he was familiar with was, brooding. A cheerful voice and smile, but cold distrustful eyes. A soft, sweet voice like the wind... makes sense, for an heir of breath I suppose.  
Jake snapped Dirk out of his thoughts,  
"What are you wearing babe?" He asked as he came in,  
"Oh, I figured since it's just Rose and Kanaya and all of our Friends I'd dress down a little...Is, that okay?" He asked softly, not wanting to set Jake off. Jake seemed to consider it as he leaned down and kissed Dirk's forehead.  
"Sure, I suppose so."

Dirk smiled, he loved Jake. So much. He leaned up and kissed his boyfriend's cheek and thanked him softly, wrapping an arm around his neck and holding him close. Jake held Dirk's waist and purred out to him before catching his lips in a slow passionate kiss. It was probably the most intimate they've been in a while and it made Dirk so happy. To finally be held, feel like he was doing something right for once. It was great.

And then it was over. Jake pulled away and held Dirk's hand, leading him away to the car to head to the Lalonde-Maryam Estate. A large respectable house the two women owned together, they were married after all. Dave had been the best man, and Jade, Roxy, Vriska, and Terezi had been Bridesmaids. Terezi tried to eat the sleeve of her dress. It was a beautiful, organized yet chaotic mess and Dirk had so much fun with Jake that day.

Back to the present day they were soon arriving at their friends house, well, mansion. The lights were on and through the windows Dirk caught sight of John and Roxy chatting. Roxy was draped against John and they were both flushed and talking happily. Oh...Well, they're already drunk. At least, they look happy. John is straight, isn't he?

What a dumb question. Of course he is, look at him. Dirk observed from the window as he walked in with Jake, that soft fluffy hair and the smile he gave Roxy. His perfect teeth, having grown into them finally. He tucked Roxy's hair behind her ear gently, oh he's so straight it practically physically hurt Dirk. Which is so dumb, he didn't even understand why.  
Jake and Dirk entered and Dirk had really only come to see John but here he is silently cursing as he heard John's voice call out a drunken slur,  
"Oooh, Dirk! You made it, heeey!" This caused Roxy to gasp,  
"Diiirky! C'mere, oh it's so good to see yer...You," she corrected herself with a giggle as John held the woman up by the waist.  
Dirk clearly hesitated and Jake nudged him,  
"Don't be rude, go say hi. I'll go look for Jane to get Roxy,"

Dirk followed orders and walked over, John's eyes looking down at the man. Jesus he's tall... Despite John clearly being drunk his eyes still held this sense of, wisdom. Age. Cold analytics and, Curiousity? It was hard to tell since Dirk didn't know John well enough to tell and Roxy swayed slightly.  
"Dirky? Ya Spacin out,"  
Dirk snapped back and immidiately spoke a little fast, looking up at John.  
"What's your Chum Handle?"

John seemed surprised and Roxy did as well for just a second before she started laughing.  
"You mean like peterchum? Pester,"  
John sat down on one of the chairs behind him and smiled,  
"I don't really use it anymore, but it's uhh, EctoBiologist."  
Roxy wandered off as Dirk sat on the chair near John, seperated by a small dark wood circular table with a vase and some flowers on it.

"Ecto Biologist?"  
John nodded and crossed his arms and cuddled into the comfy chair.  
"Mhm...It was originally Ghostly Trickster, but Karkat and the other trolls kept bugging me so I tried to avoid them by changing it." He laughed a bit,  
"I kinda wish it had worked..."

Dirk looked at his lap and John's eyes trailed up to Dirk and he frowned,  
"No, I take that back. The Game sucked, but...At least I got to meet You. That makes it a bit worth it,"  
Dirk's face flushed a bit, looking away.  
"You're drunk,"  
"And you're red."  
Dirk's face flushed harder,  
"Shut up,"  
"Make me."  
"I'll strife you right here."  
John smirked a bit, crooked and drunk he blew a soft breeze at Dirk and the man's bangs back.  
"Sounds fun~" John purred.

Jake to the fucking Rescue, I suppose. He walked over and smiled at John and Dirk,  
"I'm glad you two are getting along. It seems you've lost Roxy, I've alerted Rose of her. Ah, State."  
Dirk stood up and close to Jake, John's eyes flickered to the hand that was quick to wrap possesively around Dirk's waist and pull him closer.  
"Yeah Jake, me and Dirk are total Besties. Just talking about Pesterchum, and the old Days."

Jake himself seemed momentarily reminiscent.  
"Ah, I do remember those Days." He smiled fondly, leaning down and Kissing Dirk's cheek softly with the memory of their past clear in his mind. The love they've seemed to have lost.  
John watched the whole time, eyes like Glaciers. Making Dirk feel small, and chilled as he placed a hand on Jake's chest.  
John stood up,  
"Of course. Yeah, it was nice to see you guys. I'll get out of here before y'all start suckin face." He said rather deadpan, before walking away and Jake tilted his head.  
"Well it seems Someone's been spending too much time with Dave. You're so much Different now Dirk, it's nice to see. You're more,"  
Emotional.  
"Expressive."  
Annoying.  
Dirk knew what he was saying. He refused to truly acknowledge it. He knew he was annoying, and a fuck up and a big cry baby. He just, didn't wanna think about it.

"I think I'm gonna go look for wherever Roxy and John got that Alcohol."  
Jake stopped him with a firm hand,  
"Don't get Drunk." Jake said with a frown. Dirk nodded in response and waited until Jake pulled back to move. On his search he found John. Upstairs at the end of the hallway leaning out an open window. His eyes were closed, and his looked pretty against the midnight blue sky outside. He was only wearing a white long sleeve shirt and Black pants, but he still looked Good.  
Dirk walked over and looked outside as the breeze blew.  
"Hey..." Dirk's voice was soft and careful as he leaned on the window sill with his arms like John. Staring out into the large expanse of Sky instead of the man beside him.  
John opened his eyes and hummed softly in greeting.  
"So...why Ecto Biologist?"

With the change in subject John glanced over, turning around and hopping up to sit on the window sill.  
"Well, Ecto. Ghosts. Gotta love em," he smiled just a tad. It made Dirk do the same, a small up turn to his lips.  
"And the Biologist part?"  
Dirk thought it was just something random to sound science-y or something but John held onto the sill and leaned back till his whole body was out the window and Dirk got nervous.  
"Well, I used to wanna be a Biologist. Marine, more specifically. Only cause Ecto Biologists aren't a real thing," he soon had a cheeky grin on his face as he sat up,  
"Yet~"

Dirk covered his mouth and giggled, John's eyes roaming his face as he did so.  
He never knew that about John, I mean of course he's rarely talked to John but it's still is a bit of a suprise.  
"So why Marine?" Dirk asked as he leaned his body out the window too, staring at the roof shingles as his chin rested on his arm.  
"I like the ocean. I love Amphibians and Stuff, Animals are just cool I guess. I dunno, it was a half cocked Dream and now I don't really have a point to do it. I mean, I'm a God...where do you go from there?"  
"Onwards into immortality I suppose."  
John shook his head and gave a soft laugh,  
"I used to think Life was long. God I was such a stupid kid."

Dirk watched as John let go of the sill and his eyes widened as John fell from the window, about to hit the roof below the window before the wind caught him and Dirk sighed.  
"You're gonna give me a Heart attack Egbert!"  
John laughed,  
"We're immortal Dirk! Get with the program! I don't think Shingles on a Roof count as a Just Death, do you?"  
Dirk sighed and went back to leaning on his arms,  
"Where'd you get the alcohol?" He asked curiously.  
"Kitchen, Kanaya is on gaurd though. Two Glasses max per person."  
Dirk groaned,  
"Then how are you drunk!"  
John chuckled, hands behind his head as he floated around.  
"Flask, told you dude. I just keep it with me, so Three cups from the kitchen and my flask."  
Dirk raised an eyebrow,  
"Three?"  
"Kanaya's blind spot is the Roof~" John said with that same cocky grin. That Dork, brought a smile to Dirk's face.  
"Well toss me the flask Egbert, let's get this party really Started~"  
He leaned up and John shook his head with a laugh,  
"Better catch," He pulled it from his back pocket and tossed it. Dirk caught it and opened it up with a small smile still on his face. Dirk drank some and climbed up onto the window seal carefully.  
John curiously flew closer, Dirk bit his lip and looked at John.  
"Would you catch me if I jumped?"  
John's smile was warm, and his eyes seemed soft and gentle along with his voice.  
"Always."

So Dirk took that leap of faith. It was dumb, and he didn't know why he wanted to but he just did. And John caught him, held Dirk up and moved to hold him bridal style.  
"There. Wanna go to the very top?"  
Dirk wrapped his arms around John's neck and nodded, before drinking the rest of the flasks contents. Something strong, it clearly had a high percentage of alcohol and it brought back the flush in Dirk's cheek. As did the chilly night air, biting at his nose as John landed on the very top of the roof. He had let Dirk stay and sat in his lap but Dirk crawled off when he could. He didn't wanna seem weird, and John is straight anyway... And Dirk has a Boyfriend. That's a Big Reason.

Now alone, atop the roof with the biting cold nipping at their exposed skin John laid down on the slanted roof. He stared at the sky watching the stars and Dirk copied him.

"Wanna talk later? On pesterchum?"  
John nodded,  
"Sure. Sounds like fun..."  
Dirk continued to stare at the sky.  
"Thanks for yesterday, when you helped me. It was, really nice. I appreciate it."  
"It's no problem Dirk." He reached out and ruffled the blonde hair. Eventually just leaving his fingers threaded in Dirk's hair and Dirk scooted closer and then they were just. Laying close on the roof, feeling each others warmth.

They stayed up there for another hour, and Dirk stood up again.  
"We should get back inside, I can't feel my fingers."  
John nodded and scooped Dirk up into his arms. Wow, he's strong...Dirk is definitely a solid 190 of muscles and fat, and John picked him up like it was nothing. John may look scrawny but he certainly isn't, for such a tall man John had muscle. Just less Bulk.  
Dirk then leaned up and pressed the freezing tip of his nose to John's very warm neck making John jolt,  
"Shit! Careful, don't do that I might Drop you!" Dirk smiled and continued to nuzzle his nose against the warmth in the crook of John's neck.  
"This is payback for having me freeze my ass off for an hour."  
"It was your idea!" John exclaimed, though it was all rather playful. The window had since been closed so John landed on the front yard instead, Dirk's face still buried in his neck. As Dirk's feet gently met the ground he pulled away and John grabbed his hands,  
"You said they were cold," he said with a smile as he brought them to his lips and began to breathe warmth back into them. Dirk's face turned red, radiating heat and he couldn't blame the alcohol.  
Dirk quickly pulled his hands away in a panic and it was perfect timing as Jake caught sight of them.  
John frowned as he looked at Dirk, Dirk couldn't meet his eyes as Jake called out.  
"Dirk! By Golly I've searched near everywhere for you what in the world were you doing!"  
Dirk could hear the argument coming. And so could John.

"Sorry Jake, that's my fault. I drank too much, went for a Walk. Dirk tagged along so I didn't pass out on the pathway,"  
Jake eyed the two, looking to Dirk for confirmation. Dirk nodded quickly and Jake sighed.  
"You're all red, you drank too much. I told you not to get drunk."  
John took notice to how Red Dirk was curiously. And how Jake spoke to the blonde.  
Dirk nodded,  
"I know Jake, I'm sorry...It won't happen again..."  
Jake eyed John as Dirk walked forward and Jake grabbed him, pulling him in closely. John glared at Jake and Jake simply scoffed,  
"We're going to head home now, Good day old Chap," he said as he led Dirk to the car and got the door for him.  
Once both men were situated in the car Jake spoke up again, not yelling as he spoke to Dirk.  
"I don't like you being so close to John. Please distance yourself from him,"  
"Yes sir," Dirk responded on accident. Dirk glanced at Jake as the man didn't even bat an eye, infact he smiled at being addressed as so. Jake ruffled Dirk's hair as he moved to pull out the car. They headed home and all Dirk could think of was how jarring of a difference Jake and John shared.  
Both were very similar in a lot of ways, but after puberty really kicked in they became so jarringly different. Jake got more built, he stayed rather short but he stayed Thick and muscled. With John it was like someone took a stretcher to the man. He grew tall, but he always hid his body in baggier clothes so it was hard to tell just exactly what his body type was.  
Dirk looked up at the sky out the window as he thought to their hands, and faces, their little details. John's hands were so...They were sure of themselves. And his fingers were thin and careful, real pianist fingers. He had nice skin, soft. His skin tone was darker than Dirk's but no where near as dark as Jakes.  
Jake's hands were big. Firm, and deeply tanned with pale scars running from all over his body from his adventures and the game. Dirk had scars too of course, most prominently the large one that ran all around Dirk's neck. No one liked to talk about it.

They were then back at the house, Dirk was spared the yelling today and left to his own devices. He decided to hit up John, going to his old Pesterchum account he texted EctoBiologist and waited on the couch biting his lip.

**[TT:] What's your favorite Amphibian?**

John responded 15 minutes later,

**[EB]: Casey.**

**[TT]: Does she count as an Amphibian?**

**[EB]: Have you seen that girl in the mud? Hell yeah she does, she's like a mix of a Frog and Salamander. She's, A really Large Salamander.**

**[TT]: She's kinda fat**

**[EB]: >:B No! She's Chonky! Shut up, don't bully my Daughter, she's ~☆Thicc☆~**

Dirk laughed into his hand and smiled, curling up on the couch and he kicked off his shoes.

**[TT]: So what's it like being a Dad to a very ~Thicc~ Daughter?**

**[EB]: Easy, no boys go near my baby girl cause they're all stupid. Not Casey though, Casey is smart as FUCK**

Dirk grinned,

**[TT]: Yeah, all those other Salamanders? WACK.**

**[EB]: Casey? She's tight as FUCK.**

That's how their conversations went for the first few Days. Dirk asked Jake if he could stay home from their next little outing so he could do some programming. He worked on Lil Hal's programming while talking to John. He talked to him all day, and as things got into the late night even as Jake went to bed Dirk texted him.

As the days passed their conversations only grew. Dirk expected the friendship to dwindle and die as all his others have seemed to do but their conversations only got better.  
From Ghosts, to Religion, to Philosophy, to the meaning of Life and the lack there of.

**[EB]: I get really depressed sometimes. Knowing there's no real point. I mean, we played the game and saved the world's and for what? To be a bunch of God's, with Anxiety and Ptsd, drinking problems and Nightmares, to party non stop and watch our friends live through Over doses, and watch others continue to collect scars?**

Dirk paused before he responded. Wow. They had shared their thoughts and in-depth of the old World religions and philosophies but this was more...Personal.

**[TT]: i know what you mean...i don't really like parties, i just go to make jake happy. i don't even feel like my friends are my friends anymore. i feel so, alone and lost. i have jake and that makes it a little better but i can't help feeling so...hopeless. and alone. unable to die, no point in attempting to end it.**

**[EB]: You have me now Dirk.**

**[EB]: And about Jake, we should really talk about that**

Now Dirk got more upset. Less, Depressed and more on the defensive and mad.

**[TT]: there's nothing to talk about.**

**[EB]: Dirk please don't be like that...I'm worried about you**

**[TT]: well Stop.**

**[EB]: I can't Dirk, because I care about you. Nothing you do will change that you know, so don't get upset. I just don't like what I've seen. And I've seen plenty from you two Dirk. The way he treats you, isn't right.**

Dirk set his phone down and sighed. He didn't understand what John meant, Jake treated him nicely. Sure they argued a lot, but Jake has a bad temper. It's Dirk's fault for constantly getting on his bad side. And Jake was still sweet, it's not like all he did was yell. They would cuddle in bed every night, they lived together, and Jake stopped going on so many adventures all for Dirk. He stayed by Dirk's side when Dirk asked him too.

Begged him too. Sobbed and cried and begged desperately.  
But he Stayed.  
Threatened to leave the second Dirk stepped out of line; but he stayed hasn't he?

**[TT]: i'm tired john, i'm gonna turn in. goodnight**

**[EB]: sleep well...we'll have to talk about it at some point though Dirk**.

Dirk and John continued to talk, but Dirk always avoided the conversation of Jake. He would often sprinkle in Jake's name and all the sweet things he does to get John off his back. Maybe a week after the initial 'we need to talk' text Dirk was sitting at the counter on his phone and Jake made Dirk some coffee and gave him a kiss on the forehead before heading off to go for a Hike. Dirk smiled fondly,

**[TT]: Jake is so sweet, he made me coffee and gave me a kiss. I don't see why you think he's a bad guy, he really isn't**

**[EB]: I don't really think he's a Bad Guy per say. He just treats you like shit.**

That came as a shock to Dirk. How could John say something like that? Dirk literally just told him all the sweet little things Jake does for him for like a whole week!

**[TT]: congrats dude, you're literally fucking crazy.**

**[TT]: like where did your brain even come up with that?**

**[EB]: hmmm, lemme think.**

**[EB]: Maybe it's from the other day, when you left looking literally exhausted and anxious as fuck when not even 5 minutes ago you were smiling and joking and pressing your face against my neck**

**[EB]: your very very cold face might I add.**

Dirk couldn't help but smile at that last part. A nice distraction from the real problem at hand.  
How does he do that? Bring up things that make Dirk sad and then immidiately make him smile? Like, a real one not a fake one.  
Oh. Huh, Dirk just came to a realization he doesn't want so he's just gonna tuck that into the 'do not touch' part of his brain and keep talking to this lizard loving looser.

**[TT]: you're so fucking lame.**

**[TT]: wanna hang out? away from the party scene?**

For some reason he felt like John was gonna reject him, say no and that Dirk was 'cool and all but' because there is always a but.  
And maybe it would be for the best too, Jake said he should distance himself from John. And, well... He has technically. Physically.

**[EB]: Sure!! :B I can pick you up if you gimme your adress bro, and you can come over and meet Casey!!**

**[TT]: did you just? call me bro?**

**[TT]: okay broseph, my radical dude, i will tell you as soon as my awesome self is in some gnarly nice clothes**

**[EB] Haha oh fuck you, yeah you do that bro. can't wait to see ya**

Dirk stayed true to his word, getting dressed into some black jeans and his black shirt with the Hat on it before sending John his adress. John took like zero time getting there, and it was no doubt from some form of power from the game that Dirk was too lazy to think of. He opened the door and John had on a blue hoodie and jeans, opening his arms with a grin,  
"Hey Dork~"  
"It's Dirk."  
"Mmmm, is it? I don't think so. Dork~"  
Dirk went to shut the door in his face but John stopped him with a laugh.  
"C'mon, let's go to my house."

Dirk nodded and ran inside grabbing his keys so he could lock up his house. John moved to pick Dirk up and Dirk moved back quickly laughing awkwardly,

"Whoa, ask first?" He knows that's dumb, he let John pick him up the other day and it's kinda sucky of him but he's very selective about when people can touch him. Unless it's Jake, Jake will do it anyway.

"I wanna fly and it's one of the safer ways to carry you, unless you wanna get on my back?" John asked curiously. The didn't, technically have to fly. But John wanted to carry Dirk again, it was nice and fun. And extra body heat is ten outa ten. Dirk nodded, that seemed better. Less intimate, so Dirk had less guilt about going against Jake's wishes.  
John smiled and turned around, crouching down and no, wow, definitely awkward and definitely some level of intimate. He didn't back down though, wrapping his arms around John's neck and then leaning on him and jumping up for John to catch him. Once Dirk's legs were safely around John situated above the man's hips and John had a good hold of him he took off to the skys. And Dirk was once again reminded how beautiful the sky's were. The movement and wind whipped John's hair around as Dirk tucked his face into the man's neck. He absently noted that John had enough hair to put in a small pony tail. He then smiled, John would look so dumb like that. Or cute. A little man bun heh...  
Soon enough John was landing. On his roof, like a dunce. He set Dirk down and his window was unlocked though.

"Do you, always go through your window?" Dirk asked as he sat down and watched John climbed down onto his bed.  
"Nah, not always. Come in," he reached out and took Dirk's hands gently leading him into his room. Dirk got a good look around as he came in. Messy floor, pictures and torn paper and tape on the walls, a neat area in the corner where a slightly...Smaller? Casey was in a large tank of water and mud and a plateau of rock.  
"It's her." He said softly, John laughed and nodded as he rushed to the only spot in his room that wasn't messy.  
"It's her! Best Girl, I love her so much."  
He leaned down and smiled at her through the glass as Dirk treaded over with a soft smile.  
"Who's Daddy's best Girl~" He cooed softly to the salamander in a baby voice. He heard Dirk snort and cover his face. John glanced over and saw Dirk speak hushed with a quotation gesture.  
"'Daddy'? Pffft,"

"Get your dirty mind away from my baby! You'll taint her!"  
Dirk laughed and walked back, plopping himself onto the big soft bed with a smile.  
"Oh, yeah sorry." He rolled his eyes as John sat up and reached in picking her up. Her skin was smooth but tough. Wet and slippery but not slimey, and she was very chunky. All soft squishy loveable fat.  
"Wanna hold her?" Her eyes were closed, a spit bubble slowly expanding and shrinking from her closed mouth.  
"Oh, I-I dunno if that's a great Idea, I'll 'taint' her remember?" He laughed awkwardly as the cute creature was placed partially on his lap and partially in one arm. She opened her eyes and continued to lay there, making soft glubbing snores. Dirk glanced at John who gave an encouraging smile and gestured to him.  
Dirk carefully started to pet the salamander, sliding his hand along her soft wet back and it was so soft he was scared if he pressed too hard he'd hurt her.  
John sat beside him and laughed,  
"It's okay, she's not fragile Dirk. You can give her a little squeeze,"  
"But she's too soft..."  
"No, here, watch." He carefully took the Salamander from Dirk and held her up like Simba from the lion king, Dirk watched as John squeezed her around the middle, her eyes opened and her tongue stuck out when he did as well as the spit bubble popping.  
"Squishy girl!" He did it again and Dirk laughed,  
"Nooo, stop it! Treat her with care, don't you know how to treat a lady?"  
"She's my daughter!"  
"No, I've fallen in love with her and now am adopting her!" He took Casey from John and held her like a baby, the salamander just barely stretching her neck up to press her wet little snoot to Dirk's cheek making it press the fat up. John stared and felt his face heat up. He laughed softly,  
"Two Dad's! She has two dad's!"

When John said that the blonde infront of him flushed up as well and buried his face into his now wet salamander Daughter. Oh boy, Dirk and his big mouth.  
"I want split custody,"  
"Haha no way! What are we, divorced!?"  
"If you squish her again we will be," Dirk said as Casey fell back asleep in his arms.  
The two laughed together and John laid down on his bed with Dirk following suit. The heavy yellow creature laid on his chest and Dirk continued to pet her feather light as the two boys watched the ceiling.  
"How is Casey like this? Here on Earth and stuff?"  
John looked over, letting his hands stay on his chest and watched his Yellow Daughter and, Friend.  
"I asked Jade and Rose to work there wicked voo-doos and pull some strings in the universe making. Now I get to keep my baby girl." He reached out to pet her as well and Dirk nodded.  
"She's cute... but, couldn't they Talk? I wish they still could." He smiled teasingly,  
"Then she could tell you I'm her favorite Daddy."  
John grinned and rolled his eyes,  
"Bullshit! I'm her REAL Dad,"  
Dirk laughed.  
"Are you tryna tell me you got up to less than holy things with one of those Salamanders Jonathon?"  
John pulled a face and rolled over,  
"Eeeew, no! And don't call me johnathon!"  
"Whatever you say Jonathon~"  
John propped himself up on his elbows close to Dirk's face with a playful pout and Dirk looked away nervously. Lips way too close, and it makes him feel guilty again.  
"I should really get home soon."  
"What! You just got here, c'mon. Let's go downstairs. We can have a drink and a snack." Dirk sat up still cradling the yellow salamander.  
"I'm the only snack we need Jonathon,"  
"Stop calling me thaaat!" John said as he stood up with Dirk. He took his Salamander from Dirk and gently set her back in her containment before leading Dirk out of the room and down the stairs to his kitchen. Nothing special, just an open room downstairs with a counter and an island in the middle of the kitchen. John went to the fridge while Dirk hopped up and sat on the island.  
"I don't have much, but sandwiches and coolers."  
Dirk shrugged,  
"I shouldn't drink..."  
John rolled his eyes as he pulled out a Blue and Red cooler,  
"What, Jake gonna be maaad~?"

He had just been playing around, teasing a tad. But Dirk grabbed his arm and looked away nodding. John frowned and came over, gently taking Dirk's arm,  
"Hey...Can we talk?"  
Dirk nodded as John pulled away and gave Dirk his drink and sandwich. They moved to the living room and sat on John's couch. John popped the top of his drink and took Dirk's to do the same. Once they each had a drink Dirk started to eat and John turned to him to talk.  
"Dirk, I know we haven't really been friends long. I mean, I'm also a total asshole and I know that but I don't want you in trouble. I'd save you from anything I could if I needed to i just..."  
Dirk set his stuff down and took a swig of the cooler. Only 3 percent alcohol, not that bad.  
"Spit it Out John, it's okay."

"Has Jake ever hit you?"

"What! Oh my god, John!"  
Dirk was shocked and seemed kinda offended as well. John held his hands up in defence,  
"Hey chill, I'm serious."  
"Yeah clearly! What the fuck, Jake Loves me and I love him why the fuck would you say something like that?"  
"I've seen the way you are with him is all, I mean c'mon Dirk. It's like, you don't have a mind of your own whenever he's around..."  
Dirk frowned,  
"That's not true at all,"  
"The other day when he came over you got so quiet...and It's like, everytime he's around you're at his side with a fake ass smile and-"  
"Th-They aren't fake!"  
"Dirk yes they are."  
"How would you know!?"  
"Well for one you just stuttered and you never do that and two I've seen you smile. A real smile. When you hold Casey, or I make a dumb joke...C'mon Dirk, I'm sorry I said that but I'm seriously worried. And you know for a fact I'm not the only one. After you snapped at Roxy she's tripping over herself in worry and Jane doesn't want her to talk to you and make you mad again. People are walking with eggshells around you, and it's clear you do the same thing with Jake. You just do whatever he says, it, Ugh! It pisses me off!"  
Dirk flinched and looked away,  
"I'm sorry, I-I..." He started to tear up and tried to choke it back as John realized he had messed up. John relaxed and wasn't sure if touch was okay yet so he gently blew a breeze across Dirk's face, Dirk felt as it caressed his cheek and he sniffled.

"Is it okay, if I hug You?"  
Dirk nodded just a tad, he enjoyed physical affection so much. It did help, so John came in and wrapped his arms around Dirk gently but Dirk practically tackled John sobbing. John took a long drink of his cooler and set it down as he carefully pet Dirk's hair and whispered soft words to him.

Dirk listened to him, so surprised that John would just....let him cry like this. He didn't get it, and it just made him cry harder. He felt so confused, and upset that he seemed...Wrong, or, weird in John's eyes. That it wasn't normal how he acted with Jake and he hated most was that John was speaking purely facts and Dirk still couldn't accept what he was saying.  
Eventually, as Dirk continued to hold John and cry, John spoke up. It was clear Dirk needed to let it all out and he was Happy to let him even if it...it really hurt to see someone so strong cry. It made him feel, very fucking sad. To see someone like Dirk, just literally fucking sunshine look like this.  
"Does he raise his voice at you a lot Dirk?"  
Dirk hesitated before nodding gently.  
"He just yells a lot doesn't he," John said as he cupped Dirk's cheek and gently rocked him. The tears kept falling and Dirk looked up miserable as the corner of his shades hit John's hand.  
No... He can't take them off especially not in the state he's in.  
"What does he say Dirk?"

Dirk suddenly got the feeling he was being spoken down too. As if this was some, social worker talking to a fucking child and he completely shut down.  
He tried to anyway. But then the fact that he felt like he had to shut everything off all the time, and thinking of all the things that Jake has said to him. It felt like the entire ocean was slamming into the Dam of his mind and it just broke. He started sobbing again and he could hear all three heartbeats in the house it was all too loud and he clung to John tighter unable to make any of it stop as he sobbed and cried, his lungs ached and screamed for air. He started to ramble out a mess of words as he soaked John's hoodie in his snot and tears, and God he is not a pretty crier one bit.

"I'm so scared, I can't be Alone again! I'm so sick and tired of being absolutely worthless! Our lives have no fucking meaning, we're just pawns in some stupid Game that we set up our fucking selves!"

He curled up tight in himself, starting to scratch at the scars around his neck,  
"I wish I stayed Dead! I wish I didn't have to do this anymore everyone would be better off if I was just a headless fucking Corpse!"

John couldn't stand hearing this but there was nothing he could do other than wrestle Dirk's hands away from his neck.  
Once he had the man pinned down so he couldn't scratch himself anymore.  
"Hey, I get it..."  
Dirk quieted his sobs but couldn't stop crying.  
"I think about it a lot, too. I get that feeling...and I know it's pointless, I just..."  
He dropped Dirk's wrists and cupped his face with both his hands.  
"Look at me okay? Everytime I feel like that, everytime I think about finding some way of just ending it all, I think of Casey. Who would take care of her? Who would love her, and make her happy? So, when you think about it Dirk? Think about me too... Because I would rather hold you, and let you cry every fucking day in my arms, than ever let you suffer alone. Seeing you like this hurts, but I would rather you be with me then alone. From now on, whenever you're sad come to me. Talk to me. I'm always gonna be here Dirk...we can't die. So why not find something to make us happy? I just, I want to be happy. Till the never ending of our days," John said softly slightly joking since. Hey, immorality.

By this point Dirk's hands are gently holding John's small wrists. Sniffling a lot to avoid more snot getting everywhere the tears were drying a tad leaving his cheeks sticky under John's palms.  
"You sound fucking gay..."  
"And you sound like you've been Snorting Crack."  
Dirk smiled very weakly. Not really feeling it just leaning in and the two men held each other close, hugging on the couch. John knew Dirk needed a break but he also knew that he might never get another chance to have him open up.  
"Promise Jake hasn't ever hit you?"  
Dirk nodded.  
"And Promise you'll at least text me when you're feeling sad?" He then added,  
"Even if you think it's dumb, or an overreaction, and I promise you I'll answer no matter what. Promise."

Dirk hated fucking promises. He nodded softly regardless.  
Dirk eventually fell asleep and John knew he needed it. He started to pet Dirk the same way the blonde had done to Casey. Caring and feather light.  
John fell asleep as well soon after and that's how they stayed until they were awoken by one of the numerous Calls Jake was sending to Dirk's phone. He sat up groggy and his eyes not working properly from all that crying. He grabbed his phone and checked the time,  
"Shit! Jake's gonna be Pissed, I need to leave John right now, I-I, fuck!"  
John sat up,  
"Hey, woah relax. Say you were hanging with Dave and fell asleep, I'll have Dave swear to back your story okay?"  
Dirk just woke up and he's already faced with a panic attack and a mad boyfriend.  
John took his hand and spoke calmly,  
"Breathe Dirk. You got this."  
Dirk nodded and took a second before he answered the phone. John could hear Jake's voice and god it made him mad.

"Where the fuck are you!? I've been Texting and calling you like crazy, where have you been!? It's 11 at night Dirk what the hell!?"  
"Hey, s-sorry. I went and hung out with Dave, I was really tired and we just fell asleep..."  
There was radio silence for a second.  
"Fine. Whatever. Fucking warn me next time, you're lucky I even worry over your ass."  
"I know Jake, I'm sorry..."  
There was silence for a second and he knew Jake was gonna hang up,  
"W-wait! I love you,"  
There was another moment of silence, and Jake hung up. Dirk didn't have anymore energy to cry. John was sending Dave a text for him to cover for Dirk as he listened in. God he's so mad.  
Dave agreed but said it was very suspicious of John to be asking of that. John said he owed Dave one and Dave left it alone. For now.

"Cmere, let's go back to sleep Dirk you really need it."  
Dirk shook his head,  
"Let's just. Clean up our mess first and move to your room..." He stood up but got Light headed and had to sit back down as John sighed and stood up to do it.  
"Do you usually wear your shades to bed?" He asked curiously.  
Dirk shrugged,  
"No. I take them off for showers and bed, but for sleep overs and stuff I leave them on."  
John smiled,  
"Even for showers?~"  
"Ha Ha, very funny smart ass. No I take them off then." Dirk rolled his eyes and curled back up on the couch while John cleaned up. John didn't mind, he had the overwhelming urge to take care of him.  
Once he was done he came back,  
"Here, I'll carry you," he said and smiled when Dirk let him scoop the male up into his arms. He carried him all the way upstairs and laid him in the bed. He climbed in as well and covered them both up.  
"Night Dirk, night Casey."  
Dirk snuggled into the spooning, not used to being held like this in bed as he spoke softly.  
"Night dude, night Casey..."

It was quiet for a while before a soft voice whispered out,  
"John? You asleep?"  
"Mm...barely...whats up?"  
"Nothing, sorry..."  
John nuzzled into the soft sweet blonde hair. He smelled of citrus.  
"No it's okay Dirk, you can tell me."  
"I just...Do you have any nicknames for Casey?"  
John smiled at the random question. It was cute.  
"Sometimes I call her princess, because she's a little princess but no not really."  
The next question was actually surprising and John was more awake for it.  
"Do you think you'll ever have kids?"  
John had to stop and think and Dirk awaited his answer starting to get tense. John felt it and rubbed his stomach to ease him.  
"Relax...And no, I would really rather not. It's not that, kids wouldn't be nice but...with us being immortal, I couldn't stand out living my kids. I can barely stand living in general."

Dirk let out a soft laugh,  
"Really? I mean, I guess. But also, I dunno....I figured I just pictured you the type to want that. Settle down with, Roxy or something and have some little God Kids."  
John's turn to laugh,  
"Roxy? No offense to her, she's Gorgeous and smart but, No. Two alcoholics in one house sounds too much, and I'm one of the alcoholics." He smiled against Dirk's hair,  
"Besides, why would you think of me and Roxy?"  
Dirk stammered and laughed a bit himself,  
"Oh well...I know she likes guys, and you're like. Straight and stuff,"  
"I'm not Straight?" John said a tad confused. Dirk bit his lip and frowned,  
"Really?" John nodded and propped himself up a bit while Dirk turned around to face him.  
"Yeah dude. Like, I dunno... It's, all kinda confusing. I like Girls plenty I mean, yeah girls fuckin rule. But guys are just...I dunno, really cool too."  
Dirk laughed softly,  
"Very descriptive~"  
John flushed and swatted gently at Dirk.  
"Shut up, I'm still kinda in the middle ground. I'm, well I can't say I'm actively experimenting but like. I'm surrounded by a lot of accepting people so it's just easier to accept now. When I was little, all I saw and all I knew was, A Guy and a Girl, and Gay was like this myth to me. I saw it as a, very weird thing. Not bad but not for me. And around puberty I was like hit by hormones like a fuckin bus and I was even more distant to the idea and Karkat had his weird little hate crush on me, and Vriska had like. An actual crush on me? And I had a crush on Rose,"  
"The Og Lesbian, also, Dave had a crush on you."

John's eyes widened,  
"Whoa, he did?"  
Dirk nodded,  
"He never told you? Yeah he's been like. Raging homosexual longer than I have, I think he hided it because of his brother though. Which, is weird cause technically his brother was me so I'd assume he was gay too."  
John shook his head,  
"He wasn't you. You're, awesome and that guy was...Sucky." Dirk nodded but shrugged, laying down and tucking himself against John's chest and the bed.  
"I mean, he was sucky but that was still me...thats...he was me. Just different circumstances."  
It scared Dirk. Maybe what happened to Bro would happen to him, and he would turn into...a Monster too.  
John snapped gently,  
"Regardless. I guess I'm just, in the middle. I dunno if I'm Bi, but I'm okay with being Gay I guess. Just a little."  
Dirk giggled, oh fuck.  
Everytime Dirk laughs like that John's gayness meter goes up a tad.  
"You're just a little gay, huh?~"  
"Yes I am, you fucken gay ass~"  
Dirk smiled as John wrapped his arms around him and they curled back up to go to bed. Sleepily, and on the edge of unconsciousness Dirk spoke again,  
"I don't think I'd be a good Dad, but I can be one for Casey..."

The next morning, Dirk woke up around 12 in the afternoon. He sat up and John was already awake, one arm under Dirks head and playing on his phone.  
"You awake?" John asked and Dirk sat up nodding.  
"Mkay, you hungry? We can eat before I take you home." He glanced up,  
"If you wanna go that is."  
Dirk nodded,  
"I really should."  
John didn't argue as he played on his phone and Dirk stood up sleepily, going over to Casey and leaning over the large glass case to pick her up. In a sleepy voice he cooed,  
"Mornin princess~" he said as he cradled her into his arms.  
God it brought such a smile to John's face.

  
"You were wrong." John said as he watched the two.  
"Hm?" Dirk looked up, one of Casey's large chunky hands around his finger, but she didn't have thumbs and her fingers were tiny so she's doing her best.  
"Last night. You said you didn't think you would be a good Dad. You'd be a wonderful father Dirk."

John watched as Dirk's pale cheeks turned red and he sat on the bed with Casey in his lap, squirming to get on her tummy because it was more comfortable that way. Dirk helped her and watched her kick her little legs. She wanted to walk around but Dirk didn't wanna let her go, she's too cute!  
"I dunno, I'm just...It's a good thing you're looking after her. I would be a disaster trying to keep something alive."  
"Pfft, says the Prince of Heart."  
"Shut it, 'Heir of Breath' at least I'm royalty," He joked.  
John held up his phone again as Dirk picked Casey back up in his arms like a real baby and she quit squirming.  
"My Prince and Princess~" He purred as he snapped a pic. He started to laugh because Dirk was soon more red than Dave's God Teir Hood.  
"Well, if I'm her dad I need to be a King."  
"No, cause I'm a Heir and I'm also her Dad. Heir means to inherit, so I'm gonna inherit the kingdom, and she's my daughter, and yooour." He wanted to say something that wouldn't make Dirk feel weird.  
"You're her mom. You totally birthed her from your totally yellow ass head like fucking Zues dude. See Look! She's yellow! And her eyes are blue, aaawe~ she got your hair and my eyes!"

Dirk started to laugh and giggle again, John is so stupid. Adorable, and stupid. And Casey is perfect.

The two decided to go downstairs together and hang out a tad longer. John said it was okay to let Casey roam around but he needed to keep an eye on her. She'd try and climb the stairs to get to the upstairs bathroom for bath time, Casey adored Baths. So John made them both a bowl of cereal and Dirk watched tv and watched Casey bumble around on the ground. The coffee tables, and any table in general, all had round legs and Dirk found it adorable that John was so considerate of Casey because the salamander bumped into things a lot it seemed. John came over and handed Dirk his bowl,  
"Why does she run into stuff so much?"  
"She can't see what's infront of her very well because of the placement of her eyes. She used be like, almost human shaped so now that she's like this she has a little trouble getting around."

Dirk nodded, and started to eat as John watched Casey,  
"So when do you have to leave?"  
Dirk glanced over, John's eyes still on the chubby Salamander and her fat little tail dragging on the floor.  
"Well, probably just before Jake gets home. I'm sure he's already left the house to go do something."  
John nodded in response,  
"Well text me afterwards, when he gets home yannow. If he yells at you just-"  
"John. Stop it, please. You're, really sweet but I'm fine. I was overreacting last night. It's really not as bad as you think."  
"Dirk, I heard him. I heard how he spoke to you. He doesn't treat you like that infront of other people because it's wrong and he knows it. I'm just saying, overreaction or not he shouldn't yell at you like that. And you shouldn't just accept it, yell back, just, something!"

John still didn't get it. Dirk knew what he was doing, John just...didn't understand. Dirk was fine.  
"I can't do that. But, yeah, I'll text you."  
And with that it was plunged into awkward tense silence until Casey booped her snoot onto Dirk's leg. Dirk smiled and set his bowl aside, some milk still left as John was drinking his. He picked up Casey with a smile,  
"Hey princess~"  
She made a bit of a bubbling croaking noise, putting her little vocal chords to use to make her glubs and croaks.  
Dirk looked at John,  
"B-Bro I'm gonna fuckin cry listen to her, oh my goood!"  
John laughed a bit,  
"I think she's sayin 'i love you'," John responded.  
"I love you too! Aawe, my sweet salamander~"  
Casey was sat on her stomach on Dirk's lap while the man fussed over her and John stood to clean their mess. Funny considering his room is so messy.

That was a nice day. They hung out until around 5 and then John took Dirk home after Dirk said his goodbyes to their daughter. Dirk would make an amazing Dad.  
Once inside Dirk looked around for signs of Jake and saw his boots by the door covered in mud. Welp, he's home.  
He continued on to grab some clothes from his room and Jake was in there on his computer,  
"Finally back from your late night escapade with Dave dear?"  
"Huh? Oh, uh yeah...Sorry, I kinda just fell asleep I didn't mean to worry you..."  
"Yes well I would hope not. Dave told me he's holding another get together soon. It won't be as crowded. Sound good?"  
Dirk nodded,  
"Can I pick my clothes again? I feel like a kid when you pick out my clothes."  
Jake laughed,  
"Well I want you to look nice Dear,"  
Basically saying he doesn't look nice in his own clothes...  
"Yeah, I know." Dirk said as he changed and climbed into bed.  
"Tired? You were away awful late."  
Dirk shrugged, he wasn't tired just. Unhappy.

The party came quickly and Dirk got away with a black t shirt and blue jeans, Jake dressing down a tad as well. Instead of Dirk walking away like he had begun to do more recently, Jake pulled Dirk in close and Dirk was once again in position wrapped around Jake's arm. Dave saw them and waved, eyeing Dirk curiously behind his shades.  
Jake led Dirk over to Jane who was talking to Gamzee. Dirk kept his eyes down, Gamzee kinda scared the shit out of him so he didn't talk much but Gamzee watched Dirk with lazy curious eyes.  
"You okay there motherfucker? Look like ya about to tremble in ya motherfuckin boots."  
"You say motherfucker a lot," Dirk commented simply and Jake gave him a squeeze.  
"Sorry, just. I'm awkward, and nervous."  
Jane seemed surprised at Dirk's honesty but Gamzee just gave a smile, sharp canines shining through dark grey lips. Like Razors.  
"That's cool little dude, no fuckin problem."  
That's how most of the night went, Dirk with Jake talking to Trolls and People alike that he wasn't all that close to. Eventually Dave came over and whistled,  
"Yo, lemme borrow Dirk for a bit Jake?"  
Jake chuckled,  
"Again? I suppose so, have fun dear," He kissed Dirk's cheek and Dirk nodded as Dave looked at Dirk upon the 'again'

"So, mind tellin me why John has me coverin for you? I don't mind but really, what's up?"  
They were sitting down now, by a window on the second story just beside a balcony.  
"I went over to John's house, we were hanging out and playing with Casey and I kinda fell asleep...Jake got really mad, and Jake and John don't get along so that's uh...why we needed you to cover for us."  
Dave nodded as he listened.  
"Yeah...So, are things okay with you and Jake? For a while it was kinda seeming to everyone like you two were goin through somethin. You started being at his side permanently and then just stopped and then the John thing. I was just, wondering."  
Dirk nodded, kinda embarrassed. Oh, people noticed that, huh...  
Dirk looked up as Dave stood up,  
"Speak of the Devil,"  
John came over and they hit hands and pulled into one of those bro-hugs patting each others backs and when John pulled back,  
"Oh? Talkin about me already? I knew I was sneezing, I just thought it was the crack," He joked and nudged Dave who scoffed a bit annoyed.  
"Yeah yeah, you're a crack head we know."  
Dirk stood up as well and fist bumped John.  
"So what were we talkin about?" John asked as he looked at Dirk.  
"Just about You and Casey."  
John grinned,  
"Ah, our daughter."  
Dave snorted,  
"Your what?"  
"What's so funny!" John exclaimed with a playful pout,  
"Casey is my sweet Salamander, and after meeting her Dirk naturally loved her! So he's become her adopted father!" He said with a smile. Dirk laughed,  
"Adopted? I'm sorry, which one of us birthed this creature because your lies are getting mixed up John." He crossed his arms and smirked, watching as John giggled and scratched the back of his neck,  
"Oh? Damn, true."  
Dave looked lost and just rolled his eyes with the smallest of upturns to his lips. Dirk seems happy and so does John so whatever.  
"I guess I'll go see what Tavros is up to."  
John wiggled his eyebrows at Dave and Dave flicked him off as he walked away.

Dirk looked up at John,  
"So, wanna go out onto the balcony? You brought your flask I'm assuming."  
Two bros sharing a drink together under the light of the stars, that's totally platonic :o)  
John took it out and tossed it to Dirk, and so they both stood out there watching the sky and drinking. By the time it was empty they were both good and tipsy, and John box jumped onto the balcony ledge while Dirk laughed a bit. A hand was presented to Dirk,  
"Wanna go for a fly, my Prince?~"  
Dirks cheeks were already red but he swore they got darker. He nodded and took John's hand and before John even had Dirk up in his arms he took off, Dirk yelped out in surprise and hugged John tight while they flew.  
"Trust me Dirk! C'mon, let go!"  
"Are you crazy!?"  
John's eyes were practically glowing in the moonlight. He looked so happy and Dirk hesitated before he let go and was supported by John's powerful winds. He felt them billow around him and they weren't cold. They were warm, and comforting like a summer wind.  
"I can control it, all of it. It's, insane and a bit hard to control but I can do anything I want to with practice." He took hold of Dirk's hands, spinning gently in the air.  
"What I'm doing to you is how I fly. I'm not actually flying, I'm just using the air and wind to push me around or support me in the sky."  
Dirk was close to John, holding hands and basically just dancing in the air. In the low light of the bright moon, John looked gorgeous and both of them had messy hair.  
"This is...amazing. You're so, powerful. It's no wonder you were the leader. You're strong,"  
"No, not really. Not like Dave, or Rose, or Jade..." they swayed gently and John's hand slid to Dirk's hip pulling him closer as he tilted them back to hug instead of Dance.  
They laid there, air all around them and Dirk pictured it in his head  
"You're so strong, don't be humble."  
"I'm not. Think about it Dirk, Dave grew up through abuse, but he overcame it and now he's basically famous. Rose lived with an alcoholic mother and felt so alone aside from her friends but now she's got a wife and a big house. Jade grew up all alone raised by an animal facing the dead body of her grandfather like everyday. Now she's, a Universe Maker, and Powerful, and she's just incredible. But I'm just...John. Dad of Casey, Heir of Breath,"  
"Friend of Dirk," Dirk said softly as he felt John's fingers find their way into his hair.  
"Yeah..." John said softly.  
"Let's go sit down," Dirk said, sitting up on John's lap unable to really move.  
"Incase you fall asleep and drop us~" He teased with a gentle smile.

Dirk realized they had been out here for only 15 minutes, but it felt like it was neverending. Drowning in moonlit blue eyes surrounded by summer breeze.  
They were then soon on the balcony ledge again and Dirk climbed out of John's lap sitting beside him. His hands propped up and then there were slender cold fingers touching his own.  
He glanced down, John's hand near his own their fingers laced but not holding. He looked up and smiled a tad,  
"You're cold."  
"Says You, Mr. Frost Bite." Dirk laughed and reached up, taking off his shades. John's eyes widened a tad as he watched. And the second those bright orange eyes were on him, he let out a soft breathe.  
"Wow..." He said, almost breathlessly.  
They sat there, gazing into each others eyes as Dirk bit his lip.  
"Well?"  
"I get why you love the color orange. I think I do too..."

And then they were leaning in. Fingers touching, faces centimeters away when the door to the balcony was thrown open and Dirk's eyes widened. Pulling away quickly he grabbed his shades and turned around, facing Jake who looked. Definitely Drunk. And very mad. He hopped to his feet and John turned around quickly,  
"J-Jake, honey, hey-"  
"Don't. I fuckin, knew it..."  
"Wh-What? No, i-it wasn't what you think!"  
Jake stormed over and grabbed Dirk's wrist pulling him away and John tried to follow and help Dirk but Jake rounded on him like a wild dog,  
"Dont!" He snarled,  
"Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend!"  
The yelling dragged the attention of others and Dirk heard Gamzee whistle sympathetically,  
"Kids got a rage in him sure as shit. Know from experience, that shits dangerous."

No. Jake didn't have Rage in him. He had a drunken need for a fight. None of these people knew rage yet, except maybe Gamzee. No, as Jake dragged Dirk away to a secluded hallway to 'talk' to him John started to search for the blonde worried.

"Are you kidding me!? I fucking knew I couldn't trust you with him!"  
"Jake I told you it wasn't like that!"  
"Oh yeah, holding hands and gettin all real close and personal in the dark and it definitely wasn't what I thought huh!"  
"No! It wasn't! You can't control me Jake, I-Im sick if it!"  
"You're MINE!"  
"NO I'M NOT!" Dirk finally screamed back. Finally yelled back at him, to defend himself.  
John was just rounding the corner as the back of Jake's open hand moved hard against Dirk's cheek. Dirk's head was turned from the force of it, cheek red as he began to tremble. His eyes welled up, his shades on the floor as he touched his cheek.  
John's eyes lit up, like fire. He ran at Jake,  
"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM!"

  
Dirk couldn't stop him as John's fist connected with Jake's face.

Jake fought back but John was so pissed, it was clear on his face as Dirk fell to his knees and some of their closer friends were gathered at the end of the hallway to try and figure out what's happening and stop it.

All Dirk could do was watch as John hit Jake over and over, teeth bared, nose bleeding from a successful hit on Jake's end. The look in those eyes...they weren't like usual. It wasnt, soft, and kind.  
It was monsterous. Sheer animalistic rage of the most primal kind and Dirk didn't even realize he was sobbing. It was his voice calling out, begging John to stop, not to hurt Jake but John wouldn't stop. Dave wrestled John back as Gamzee came to Dirk to pull him away from the situation. Both men fought back, Gamzee trying to soothe Dirk. Dirk heard nothing but the pounding of Hearts, eyes glued to the bloody scene of his boyfriend and John.  
"Easy there, c'mon Dirk. Now ain't the time to be fiesty, relax motherfucker."  
"No! John Stop it! Stop it!"  
Dave had managed to pull John away but he broke from his grip and ran back to Jake who was bleeding on the ground. Dirk elbowed Gamzee hard and ran to John, shoving him hard so he hit the wall.

"I SAID STOP IT!"

John looked at Dirk, that look of Rage in his eyes glaring down and Dirk was still trembling. Without his shades and sobbing, shaking infront of everyone and a bruise already formed on his cheek as he held out his arms out protective of Jake.  
John took another step towards the two, but saw the way John started shaking further, about to collapse again and he stopped, letting Equius grab him and pull him away from the scene.  
Dirk finally collapsed again, Jane called out quickly and Gamzee was there before he could hit the floor.  
"There there motherfucker I gotcha,"  
Dave grabbed Dirk's shades as Kanaya rushed to Jake's side and Rose hurried over with a first aid kit.  
Dirk could hear Rose's voice but didn't comprehend them as he listened to Jake's heartbeat exclusively.

Once everything was cooling down only a few people had stayed. John was shut up in Dave's room, Rose and Kanaya were with Jake on the Couch, Roxy, Jane, Dave, Karkat, Tavros, and Gamzee along with Dirk of course.  
Rose had tried to tend to Dirk's cheek but he wouldn't let anyone near him. He could hear Gamzee, Jane, Roxy, and Dave talking in the background, Tavros and Karkat listening in quietly.  
"Did he tell you what happened?" Roxy asked worried, Dave responded.  
"Yeah, a little bit. He, doesn't wanna talk but he needs time to cool down. The evidence is right there so I believe him, he said Jake hit Dirk."  
Jane gasped softly and Gamzee sighed,  
"Told y'all motherfuckers him bein so mad couldn't a been Good."  
"Hey! John is still the one who went off the Rails!" Karkat interrupted loudly, Tavros nervously tried to quiet him but Dirk couldn't agree more. John had looked...scary.  
Roxy spoke up again,  
"What are we gonna do I mean. It isn't our relationship obviously but if Jake really hit Dirk,"  
"If Jake really hit Dirk than this coulda been happening longer than we thought and-" Dave had been talking when Dirk stood up and everyone's attention was on him.  
"Could you all shut up! It's none of your fucking Business! My relationship isn't any of your fucking business, just help Jake and let us Leave!"

Even Jake was looking at Dirk, though looked away looking guilty. Gamzee took his hands out of his pockets, the tall stronger troll on damage control and ready to help if Dirk got out of control.  
Rose stood up and dusted off her skirt, her voice as calm and melodic as usual.  
"Dirk, honey I know this is really stressful and you're probably tired but-"  
"So then just leave me alone! I don't wanna break up with Jake and I don't want any of you in my fucking Business! You're all so fucking ANNOYING! And You're Nosy! And Rude! I fucking Hate you!"

It was all harsh biting words, John could hear every one of them upstairs. People looked a bit, sad. And upset. Others unaffected like Karkat and Gamzee. Rose looked upset as well and was going to speak again when Jake stood up. He looked really bad. Still kinda bloody, eye swollen shut and nose broken, most of his face was bruised, his lip was busted and he even had finger print bruises on his neck. Dirk knew they were finger print bruises because Jake gave him some not that long ago.  
And still, Dirk ran to Jake, Jake caught Dirk in his arms.  
"apologize Dirk. Now."  
His voice wasn't loud but Dirk knew how this went.  
Kanaya was near them and she heard it, as Dirk turned around he wiped his face and his voice was quiet as he started,  
"I-Im...im sorry,"  
Jake's hand went to Dirk's waist, he didn't even have to squeeze before Dirk was raising his voice to be heard and now things were clicking with people.  
Gamzee saw the possessive movement. It's how he used to be with Tavros. Kanaya and Rose both heard the robotic drone in Dirk's voice as he spoke practiced words. And anyone could see that the man was miserable.  
After he apologized to everyone, Dirk took Jake's hand and they went to the door, and finally Roxy spoke up,  
"Stop! This isn't right, you can't j-just. Leave! After all of this!"  
"Hey motherfucker, maybe you shouldn't go yet I mean, i know we ain't close but you should really be with your friends and-"  
Jake interrupted and ushered Dirk out the door,  
"He said he doesn't want to. Leave him alone."  
Gamzee glared but stopped as Tavros grabbed his hand. He could tell why John was mad.  
Dave didn't know what to do, and honestly he was shaken up too. Seeing Dirk cry like that, and he has never in his life seen John mad like that. Karkat too, took hold of his matesprits hand and Tavros moved to stand by his morail still holding Gamzee's hand. Gamzee didn't poke or antagonize Dave, and the room was tense and quiet after Dirk and Jake left.

Once they were home, Jake went to their room and got undressed before getting into bed. Dirk did the same thing and cuddled up to Jake's side. Jake put his arm around Dirk possessively again and Dirk cuddled close. He couldn't sleep, but he thought Jake was.  
"I'm sorry..." He whispered softly.  
"I shouldn't have hit you." Jake's voice was low, and he was genuinely remorseful, his voice made Dirk jump but Jake rubbed his side gently.  
"I was drunk,"  
"I know..."  
"Seeing you with him, I just"  
"I know Jake. I know. I'm sorry...It, isn't like that though. I wouldn't, I could never..."  
He could never cheat on Jake. Not without tearing himself up about it. And Jake nodded,  
"Stop seeing him. I mean it Dirk."  
Dirk really didn't want to. John is, his best friend. They've been friends for weeks now, he's the one person other than Jake that Dirk is even close to! He can't... but.  
"Okay Jake..."  
Jake nodded again, kissing Dirk's cheek and turning around. With Jake's back to him Dirk slipped his arms around the man's waist and went to sleep, too tired to even bother with his crowded mind anymore.

John had sent Dirk a bunch of apology texts. When Jake saw Dirk's phone buzzing he took it and blocked John's number. He looked mad that Dirk even had the number in the first place and Dirk didn't argue. Dave kept bugging Dirk to come over and hang out, along with Roxy, but Dirk ignored it. Jake started checking Dirk's phone more but Dirk didn't care. At least he had Jake. They still slept in the same bed, cuddled, and watched movies together sometimes. Jake's face looked really bad, and sometimes Dirk couldn't even look at him. When he did all he saw was John, glaring down at him, or John hitting Jake with the most...scary look in his eyes.  
He cried, a lot now. Only in the shower, with music playing so Jake wouldn't hear or bug him about it.  
A week went by, and Dirk never left the house. He had no clue what happened to John after the party.  
Then a month went by. Jake and Dirk no longer went to their friends parties and get togethers. Dirk still stayed home a lot, sometimes though Jake would take him on a small date. His face was healing up, but it still looked kinda bad...  
It was starting to lead on, another week without leaving the house or talking to anyone. Just laying on the couch watching a paranormal investigations show when there was a knock on the door.

Dirk was only in basketball shorts and a tanktop, bags under his eyes and his shades afixed to his face. The bruise on his cheek was gone. He opened the door and had to hold back a fucking breakdown.  
"Dirk....i, I miss you. A lot. And I'm really worried about you. Everyone is."  
Dirk tried to shut the door in John's face, he couldn't handle this. It's been over a month and it's still too soon.  
John put his hand out, stopping the door.  
"Please...This is ridiculous, Dave says you haven't even left the house....You're ignoring everyone who loves you over a man who doesn't!"  
"Jake DOES love me! Shut up! Go away! This is all your fault John! If you hadn't come into the picture-"  
"If I hadn't come into the picture you would still be in this mess! Nothing has changed! Jake doesn't fucking Love you!"  
"He DOES! Shut up! Shut up right now, and get out! You don't know anything, Jake Loves me!"  
"HE LOVES CONTROLLING YOU! QUIT LYING TO YOURSELF!"  
Dirk flinched and started to shake and cry. The words played over and over in his head, John stood there looking at the ground as Dirk cried infront of him. He made him cry, and he knows it but Dirk has to see the truth. He walked forward and his words were now soft and quiet.  
"He doesn't love you Dirk...he just loves the idea of you. He doesn't love, your pretty smile...Your humor, your mind. God you're so smart Dirk," his hands cupped Dirk's cheeks and Dirk held them close as he looked up.  
"Your sense of style. Your eyes. Your Voice. You still have one Dirk, you should use it."  
Dirk surged forward and hugged John,  
"I-I can't...I can't be alone, I can't do it,"  
John ran his fingers through Dirk's hair and held him close.  
"You aren't alone Dirk. You've spent all this time, telling yourself you're alone when everyone is telling you we're right here...You let Jake manipulate you, block out everyone who loves you, the only one who thinks you're alone is You. And Jake, he...He made you believe it. He needed you to. Because HE'S the one who's alone. Especially now. You're the only one who he can manipulate, and the only one Who, for someone so smart, is dumb enough to stay,"  
Dirk let out a laugh as he continued to cry.  
"You're bad at comforting people..."  
"I'm just making sure you know the truth Dirk. Because," He tilted Dirk's chin up and looked down at him with a gentle smile,  
"Cause I love you. And you deserve to know that."

Dirk's face went red,  
"God that's gay,"  
John rolled his eyes,  
"I mean it, don't be a smart ass,"  
"I thought you said you liked how smart I was,"  
John pulled him in and ruffled his hair.  
"See! You're being a smart ass again! And I do find it hilarious and adorable. I've missed you."  
Dirk sighed softly. He missed him too but, after that day...He kinda scared Dirk.  
"Missed you too...uhm, you should leave though. Jake will be home soon,"

John worried that Jake might hurt Dirk again though,  
"Maybe I should stay and,"  
"No. Please, John....Just go okay? I'll uhm, Call you or something. I need to handle this, on my own." John noticed the way Dirk reacted and looked away with a nod,  
"Y-Yeah...Uh, Okay...I'm sorry. By the way."  
"Yeah, you uhm. Should probably go now."  
John nodded and left feeling kinda shitty again but it's his own fault really.

Dirk sat on the couch once John was gone and sighed. Thinking it all over  
He doesn't love you, he loves manipulating you  
And Dirk is the only one dumb enough to stay...  
God he is so dumb...  
Dirk realized now he should break up with Jake. But, they live together...and there's no way Jake will leave.  
And it was then with a heavy heart Dirk packed up some of his things. Lil Hal, some clothes, his computer, all his charging cords, and toothbrush and set it all aside. He doesn't wanna be alone...and he's so so scared. But for the past few, years really. Dirk has been miserable. And it's time that changes.

Dirk heard the keys in the door and stood up, Jake walked in and smiled at Dirk just a tad, Dirk smiled back a little. Fuck he's gonna miss him...he loves him so much, even now...  
Jake's eyes fell on Dirk's bag before Dirk could talk.  
"What's goin on Dirk?"  
"Jake...I," he took a deep breath, lip trembling as he steeled his nerves.  
"I'm breaking up with you."  
For a moment, full of anxiety, Jake didn't respond. Before he laughed softly, nervous and tense.  
"You're what? Haha, Dirk that's... that's ridiculous."  
Dirk shook his head,  
"It's not. I mean it, I need...I need some time to myself."  
"Dirk that's crazy! Didn't I tell you I'm sorry? You're gonna regret leaving me Dirk, you fucking know it!"  
Dirk flinched away at Jake raising his voice and Jake sighed,  
"Fine. Go do whatever the fuck you want, but when you come crawling back to me I'll tell you. I told you so."  
Dirk held back his tears and shouldered his bag.  
"I love you Jake...." He said softly before walking away, Jake only scoffing in response.

**[TT]: I broke up with him...Can I come over?**

John didn't even respond, he just showed up. He smiled reassuringly.  
"Lets go," he took Dirk's hand before using his retcon powers to transport them to his house immidiately. It's basically just teleporting and it's what John always uses to get around because he's Lazy and doesn't own a Car.  
Dirk felt dizzy from it and nearly fell, but John caught him quickly. They were so close, Dirk looked up into the man's pretty blue eyes and sighed.  
"You need a nap," John said with a soft smile.  
"I'll grab Casey and we can all cuddle in my Bed~" he was so happy to know Dirk was safe now. Safe and with him. Dirk nodded, he wanted to hold his baby girl and be held by his best friend.  
Dirk set his bag down, John went to get Casey from her tank. Dirk crawled onto the bed and laid down,  
"What do I do now John? I...i don't know what to do. Or, where I'm gonna live.."  
John walked over and laid the wet salamander on the bed, wiping her off a tad before Dirk clung to her.  
"You can live here, I don't mind!" John said with a smile.  
Dirk shook his head,  
"I don't wanna be a burden."  
"You could never be a burden Dirk. Not to me. I just, miss you and it would be great to have you around to care for Casey~" he said as he got in bed behind Dirk and cuddled into him. He held him by the waist and burried his face in Dirk's neck. Dirk felt, guilty. For being here right after breaking up with Jake. But, John made him so happy, and he felt safe with him. As long as he didn't raise his voice or move too fast at least...  
Dirk closed his eyes and tried to sleep as John's breathe tickled the back of his neck. And from that point on Dirk stayed with John for a while. He still ignored everyone else, not ready to face them yet. Dirk wanted to help out around the house so he insisted on cooking for John at the least but John would beat him to it most times. They eventually alternated cooking for each other, and Dirk tried to get John to cut down on drinking. I mean, he knew John drank but...  
Everyday, almost everything he drank was alcohol, and he would often get drunk on the couch and beg Dirk for attention. And Dirk would oblige only until he passed out. The drunk conversations always included John showering Dirk in compliments, telling the man how much he wanted to just kiss him, and everytime Dirk would get flustered and quietly shut him down.  
Tonight was no different. Dirk has only been staying with John for two weeks, and this is maybe the fifth time John has done this. Dirk is on his knees by the couch, John laying on it and staring at the ceiling making Dirk hold his hand.

"You're so cute Dirk..."  
"So you've told me."  
John turned onto his side and leaned in kissing Dirk's hand.  
"I mean it. You're like...wow. your hair and your eyes, and your voice, and your lips are so...hhhh, they look soft."  
"It's cause I use Chapstick."  
John giggled,  
"You're funny. I wanna kiss you."  
"Yes you've made me aware of this fact a few times."  
"Mmm, you should let me."  
"Not when you're drunk." Was Dirk's simple response as he laid his head on the couch and John purred at him softly.  
"I'm so happy you broke up with Jake. I hated seeing you with him, even before we were friends."  
Dirk frowned,  
"Oh? Why?"  
John shrugged and slurred a bit,  
"Uuh, Jealous. I mean...Jake knew he was Bi even when we were younger. And you knew you were Gay. And like, I didn't know that about myself. Y'all are so smart. You're, really attractive. And Dave's Brother. And Jake is like, I dunno...The fact that he got with you, before I ever got with anyone at all. And like, i dunno..its dumb."  
Dirk sighed,  
"Let's go to bed John. I'm really tired okay?" He didn't wanna talk about this. At all.  
John nodded and cupped Dirk's face.  
"I wish I had kissed you that night."  
Dirk pushed his hand away and stood up,  
"I'm going to bed." He said and then left. That night, Was horrible. It was a bad memory, and it made Dirk go into panic mode. It made him scared of John. Of what he knew John could do, and what people do when they're drunk. He can't be around John like this.

The next morning, Dirk went downstairs to make Breakfast and John wasn't there. He could hear him messing around in the bathroom and didn't worry, and as he made some eggs for John's hang over that he always had.  
John came out and walked over to Dirk, hugging him around the waist from behind.  
"Mornin..."  
"Hey. How's your head?"  
"It's fine."  
It was quiet, but relaxed. Until Dirk felt John press his lips to his neck.  
He froze, tensing up at the feeling. It was very soft, not pressing or needy or Rough. Just John gently kissing the back of his neck. And he kissed again. And started to kiss a trail along Dirk's neck up to his jaw and Dirk finally spoke softly,  
"Wh-what...are you doing?"  
John pulled Dirk closer to his chest,  
"I dunno....I'm sorry you have to put up with me so much. I just, wish I could be a better person. I wish I could hold you, and kiss you, and make you laugh."  
"Y-Youre still drunk,"  
"I'm not..." He kissed by Dirk's ear and leaned his head on Dirk's.  
"Relax..." He said softly and Dirk did his best but he couldn't. He turned off the stove and gently pushed John off. John didn't protest and watched Dirk mill around the kitchen and set the table for John.  
"Eat. I'll, be back..."

John did as he was told, and Dirk went upstairs. He made sure his stuff was together and Texted Dave before going downstairs and setting his bag on the couch. John watched, feeling sick. He didn't want to loose Dirk...  
Dirk walked over and John stood up to talk to him and Dirk looked up at the tall man.  
"I...i can't, do this again John. I can't, rush things and fall in love if I'm just gonna get hurt again..."  
John looked away and nodded. He knew Dirk wouldn't wanna be with him...  
But he was then surprised as Dirk pushed forward onto his tippy toes and grabbed John by the cheeks. He pulled him down and kissed him, kissing him slow and loving before pulling away gently.  
"You said you want to be a better person...you want to hold me, and kiss me, and you have always been able to make me Laugh John. Work on being a better person, and you can do that more...I'm gonna stay with Dave for a while. I'll come over sometimes...but, get some help okay? Sober up, go to therapy...Fix yourself before you try and fix someone else okay?"  
John nodded before laughing softly,  
"Told you you were smart~" he pulled Dirk close,  
"One more?"  
Dirk smiled and giggled,  
"You're so fucking stupid. Yeah, one more."

And so they kissed. One more time. John held Dirk close by the waist, kissing him passionately and never wanting to let go and Dirk reciprocated happily before he had to pull away and grab his things. His brother was on his way to pick him up and Dirk was going to live with him, Karkat, Gamzee, And Tavros for a while. Yeah, that's a development Dirk never expected. Apparently the four are in a weird...Troll Love, Square? But they have room for Dirk because they have extra rooms. It was nice, not being controlled or yelled at. He wasn't, happy...And he's not sure when he will be. But he was finally okay. And that was good enough for now.


End file.
